20 Hilarious Tweets That Sum up Life With Children
Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation but we can’t stop laughing at these hilarious tweets from some of our favourite parents on Twitter!
You know what really makes having kids worth it? When you haven’t shaved for a day and they touch your skin and say, “your leg is spiky.”
— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 15, 2017
There are illegal toxic waste dumps cleaner than the screen on my son’s tablet.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) December 5, 2016
Netflix should have a “times watched” counter for kids’ shows so you can track your slow descent into madness.
— Dragging Feeties (@DraggingFeeties) June 12, 2017
If you enjoy asking questions like “Whose socks are on the kitchen table,” I can’t recommend parenting highly enough.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) June 13, 2017
I started calling my kid’s chores “jobbies” to make them sound like fun hobbies and it 100% does not help.
— Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) June 13, 2017
Paint your bathroom a pretty shade of blue so when you’re in there hiding from your kids it almost feels like you’re sitting by the ocean.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) June 14, 2017
If you like showering with dump trucks and a used Band-Aid while moldy-headed naked Barbies stare up at your junk then parenting is for you.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) February 3, 2016
Pretending not to see the things my kids do is the glue that holds my sanity together.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) June 16, 2017
7yo: I got duck poop on my hand
Me: Ok, don’t touch anything until we get home
*looks in back seat
7yo: *already eating crackers
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) June 11, 2017
When your baby learns to talk, you realize all of those important things you thought your baby was saying were just demands for more food.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) June 15, 2017
“You can play for 5 more minutes and then it’s time to go!”
-Every parent at the park
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) June 12, 2017
7yo: I wanna wear my hat today
Me: Ok, but I’m not going to carry it all day
Narrator: But carry it all day he did
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) March 3, 2017
I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 28, 2017
My 2-year-old called the vehicle for sick people a “wee woo truck” and now I don’t even remember what the right name is anymore.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) May 17, 2017
As a wife and mother, my main job is pretty much just suggesting solutions to people who are actively ignoring me.
— Dragging Feeties (@DraggingFeeties) May 18, 2017
If your child gives you the silent treatment, that’s called a parenting win.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 28, 2017
Me: *playing with fidget spinner*
I don’t get it. This is dumb.
[2 hrs later]
Me: *still playing with fidget spinner*
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 17, 2017
I used to watch horror films for entertainment, now I just watch my kids bake a cake in our kitchen. 👨🍳😱
— Molly England (@bluebonetbabies) June 12, 2017
You haven’t truly known panic until you let a 2 year old squeeze her own toothpaste.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) March 29, 2017
Wife: I’m going to wine down
Me: You mean wind down
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) March 20, 2017
Ahhhh, if you didn’t laugh, you’d cry, right?
See the first installment of hilarious parenting tweets here!