Here’s What Happened when I Tested out the Go-Girl (So I Could Pee Standing Up)
I like to think of myself as a fairly outdoorsy person. I love golfing, skiing, camping, 4WDing, and dirt bikes. And it never ceases to annoy me how easy it is for blokes to whip out their gear and do a wee by a wall or a tree or a fence, zip up and be on their way again.
Me? I’ve got to walk 100 metres into the bush, look back at my group and determine whether or not I can be seen, then pull down my pants, squat and hope like hell no one comes tearing around the corner from the opposite direction and catches me with the back wheels hanging out. Oh, and then of course you have to make sure you have a tissue or toilet paper and then figure out what to do with that. (I’ve never really mastered just shaking it off).
And there have been some epic fails. You have to wear a LOT of gear when you ride a dirt bike; helmut, knee pads, elbow pads, armour, gloves and stiff buckle-up boots that come all the way up your shins. One time when I was out riding I was absolutely busting to go so I stopped and knew I was on an awkward angle when I released my bladder but the last thing I expected to do was pee inside my own boot. I had a soggy sock for the rest of the day.
Another time I wandered off the trail to pee, found a tree, turned my back to everyone and squatted without realising my bare butt was exposed to everyone because the spot I picked had a gap in the trunks.
And then there was the time my husband thought it would be hilarious to first, tell me to rest my butt on the running board of his ute, wait for me to get going and then start to slowly drive away with me leaving a trail and screaming.
So when I saw that a device had been created that would allow me to pee standing up, and leave all my clothes on; well I couldn’t get online fast enough to order it.
You can buy these from GoGirl or Shewee. Sheewee.com says their nifty little devices are discreet, reusable and lightweight. They can be used for:
- long car journeys (traffic jams)
- dirty toilets
- post surgery
- sports injuries
- armed forces
- sailing, kayaking, canoeing and fishing
Can be easily cleaned with mild soap and water, but don’t worry about cleaning it on the go, simply shake off the excess liquid, as the SHEWEE repels water.
I actually ended up with a Go Girl (“don’t take life sitting down”) and I was kind of excited because it’s PINK. Then I became sad when I ended up receiving this:
Anyway…..I figured the safest place to test this out was in the shower and it worked pretty well. I felt like a dude standing up to pee! Whoo-hoo.
Then I put my jeans on.
And tried to figure out – how is that going to go in between my legs, under my knickers, over my pee hole and come out the fly without pulling down my pants.
It doesn’t. The End.
Sorry, Go Girl but by the time I get you positioned you are like a little boy learning to pee standing up, not enough length to aim and get to where you need to be without making a big mess and/or peeing your pants at the same time.
As to how the hell you could use these: cycling, or in a kayak (Yeah, Right).
So close, yet still so far…….