Mother In Law Gatecrashes the Delivery Room – Oh Hell No!
An anonymous Reddit user posted in the Relationships forum last night, seeking advice and guidance on how to approach his wife regarding “her behaviour” in the delivery room earlier that day. And I don’t think I’ve ever been as angry at a random stranger on the internet as I was reading his post:
“I’m sitting in the waiting room typing this on my phone. My daughter was born ten minutes ago and I haven’t laid eyes on her.
My wife Anna I have been together for six years, married for four. Before we even got pregnant we’d discussed who we would want present at the birth and my wife’s answer was always the same: no one but us. I always told her that my mom would want to be there, that it would mean a lot to her. My wife always came back with “it’s not about your mom, it’s about me and what my body will go through, it’s about delivering a healthy child, and it’s about us becoming parents.” I tried to understand but I knew my mom would want to be here.
My mom and my wife get along really well. My mom absolutely adores my wife and showers her with gifts and affection. It makes me really happy to see them together so I just can’t understand why my wife didn’t want my mom here today. When she went into labor she told me not to call anyone. She said we would make all the phone calls once the baby arrived and she (my wife) had rested and was up for visitors. I told her it was selfish to delay other people getting to meet the baby just because she’s tired and disheveled but she was in labor so we didn’t really get to hash it out.
At one point during the labor I left the room and called my mom to tell her the baby was coming. Of course she drove right over to the hospital. When she got here she found the delivery room and came in, all smiles and happy as can be. But my wife flipped her shit. She started shrieking and demanding that my mom and I both leave. The nurses forces us out. I only know that my daughter is here because one of the nurses came out to tell me.
I’m so hurt and so is my mom. I missed the birth of my child because my wife was being selfish. My mother is heartbroken and keeps asking why my wife hates her. I don’t know what to tell her. How can I even begin to remedy this situation? How do I talk to my wife about her behavior today?
TL;DR- my wife threw me and my mother out of the delivery room. We’re both hurt. What do I do?”
Ohhh where to begin unpacking this pile of selfish, insensitive drivel?
His wife consistently told him that she did not want anyone else in the delivery room with them. Before they fell pregnant she told him this. She stressed her wishes many times, and he still brought it up with her in the delivery room wanting to hash it out again!
The he waited until she was at her most vulnerable. Preoccupied with, you know, pushing a human out of her vagina, and snuck out and phoned his mother to tell her that the baby was coming, knowing full well she’d hurry on in!
If my husband had done this to me, I would have throttled him there and then. I have no doubt.
This man knew his wife didn’t want his mother in the birthing suite. He knew her wishes and still disrespected them at a time when it should have been all about her and their baby.
Then he had the audacity to name her on the internet asking strangers how he should approach his wife about “her behaviour” and whining that he “missed the birth of [his] child because [his] wife was being selfish”.
I’ve never wanted to reach through the screen and slap another person so hard before.
But then, after being roundly scolded by other redditors, the husband dropped this little pearl of wisdom.
“Everyone is acting like she turned water into wine. It’s giving birth, it’s literally what her body was designed to do”
The hardest part about all of this is knowing that somewhere in the world, there is a new mother cradling her tiny newborn daughter in her arms knowing that her husband is a giant douche who will literally sell her out at a time when she is at her most vulnerable, then bitch about it when he doesn’t get his way.
She knows that he doesn’t understand, and that he’ll always choose his mother over her. And her mother in law is no support either, she’s siding with her son, reinforcing his confusion with her own clueless bewilderment.
This should have been a special time for the couple, becoming parents for the first time together. But he ruined it with his disrespect and total lack of regard for his wife, the soon-to-be mother of his child. And he doesn’t get it. He’s blaming her for being selfish, instead.
What a lot for that new mum to process.
It’s hard enough, isn’t it?
I really, sincerely, hope that the couple are able to work through this and move on from all of this hurt and anger. The husband’s post seemed well written and eloquent, let’s hope he has at least some self awareness and realises the effect of his actions, before all he has left are weekend visits and child support payments. And his dear mummy.
You can read all the comments from the Reddit post created after the husband deleted his original post (hopefully in a moment of shame as he realised the pain his actions caused his wife) here.
Images: Google search, Reddit and Giphy