The Best Advice for New Mums – There Are No Perfect Mums, Only Real Ones
We are always being told what to do as mothers, aren’t we? By our own mums, nannas and mothers-in-law, by our girlfriends, partners and the media. The pressure to get it ‘right’ is huge. And a lot of us feel like we are failing when in reality, we are just doing it our way.
Dove have launched a new campaign pushing back at the pressures of being a “Real Mum”.
“Everybody has ideas about what it means to be a good mum. And most people feel like they have a license to tell you what they think it means to be a good mum,” the commercial begins. “To #RealMoms everywhere, trust your way”
Do it your way. Trust your way.
First-time mums are new to the pressures of being an ideal mother, and, ironically, usually have it the hardest of all of us. Already sleep deprived, hormonal, possibly suffering post natal depression and facing a whole range of new challenges, first-time mums cop the pressure of being a good mum with full force. It’s really not fair at all, is it?
Dove did a survey of just over a thousand new mums, and their findings are surprising, and in some cases, saddening.
- 72% of mums question if what they are doing is good enough.
- 90% of new mums feel pressure to be a perfect parent.
- 84% of mums believe that the stereotype of the “perfect mum” is unrealistic and outdated.
- 44% of new mums don’t feel that they fit the “perfect mum” role.
- 26% of new mums think that it is achievable to be the “perfect mum.”
- 94% of mums say that while they love their babies, they love themselves and many other things as well.
- 83% of mums are happy to be identified as mums, but they don’t want that to be the only thing that defines them.
- 84% of new mums trust themselves when making decisions about their children and over half say that they know what is right for their families.
I would like to say something to new mums, and all the mums out there feeling the pressure to be perfect.
♥ Our whole lives we are told that no one is perfect, and that we are all human and make mistakes. Yet the moment we become mothers perfect becomes an ideal, something to aspire to. No, I’m calling bullshit. People don’t try to be the perfect partner or the perfect daughter. Perfection is boring, anyway. Who doesn’t like a little character, a little pizzazz?
♥ We all make different choices and prioritise different things – and that doesn’t make us bad mums, just different. As long as the basics are being covered, do what you please. If you want to get up a little earlier to go to the gym or to do your hair and makeup, good for you. If you want to spend that hour while bubs is sleeping reading Shakespeare or browsing Reddit instead of doing housework, good for you. Who cares, anyway? Whose business is it what you choose to do in your precious downtime.
♥ Movies and television have no idea what motherhood is actually like. Don’t let them trick you into believing that you are the only one with mashed banana on your pants and a pile of clothes on the back of the lounge. We have all been there.
♥ It will get better, I promise. And when your youngest is off to school, you’ll look back on your baby years and wonder where it all went. A big old haze of sticky fingers, lots of crying and cuddles, finding random crusts under the lounge and ABCKids. And wine, for god’s sake, don’t forget the fucking wine.
♥ No one has their shit together, we’re all just winging it. Honest. I need you to believe me. It might look pretty on the outside, but you’re just seeing the polished finished product. My behind the scenes footage looks just like yours.
Hang in there, new mums! You can be real and unreal. But no one can be perfect.
Watch Dove’s powerful new commercial here: